Home for the holidays…
Home is just…..home. The familiarity of the scents when you walk in the door, the muscle memory of where the silverware drawer is in the kitchen, your favorite holiday desserts and decorations and traditions. This.is.HOME!
AND-if you are a young adult or in college, returning home can wreak havoc on our relationships with family and friends after mastering building independence for SO long. The last thing we want is our parents nagging about bolusing and blood sugars, am I right?
I interviewed a 25 yr old Abbey Gill, who has “been there done that” and is traveling home this week and offering some tips and tricks on how to make it work and not drive yourself and mom or dad crazy worried!
1. Share a little about your experience "coming home" this year, and/or year's past. What is it like as a type 1?
Coming home can always be hard! Even if you aren’t a type one diabetic, you lose your routine and are back sleeping in your childhood bedroom! Every time I come home I remind my parents WHY I’m coming home - to spend time with them! Not to be asked questions about my diabetes. I know they want to make sure I’m doing okay and feeling healthy but I don’t want it to turn into a trip about my diabetes.
Usually before I come home I remind my parents of questions that make me feel “triggered” or annoyed. Don’t ask “what is your blood sugar” or “did you bolus”. Instead, ask general questions about how I’m feeling and doing.
I ask my parents to provide me with certain low snacks or go to snacks for me before I arrive. It really stresses me out not having low snacks around me at all time so making sure they are there before I arrive helps me feel better!
2. What advice do you have for college age or even teens as well as parents who are navigating this part of T1D for the first time?
My advice would be open and honest before you arrive! I would call your parents a week or two before you come home to go over your expectations for your time home! What do you need from them? It’s hard to be honest but it will make your time home most enjoyable!
I shared what worked well for me living alone and what was harder. I didn’t want them to feel like it was all good or all bad! But being vulnerable helped me set up expectations for home.
I did it a week before so if it upset myself or my parents there was time to let it settle before I got home!
3. Can you describe a certain scenario that was maybe a bit challenging coming home after being away at school or a new city for awhile? How did you get through it?
One time I came home from the West Coast to the East coast for three days! It was my brothers high school graduation and I was only there to celebrate him! I hadn’t told my mom I went off my insulin pump to daily multiple injections. When I came home she freaked out and asked why I changed off of something that made my A1C was low! I told her it was because I felt comfortable with it and I had made the decision for myself! She was really upset and it ruined my whole first day home!
In the moment, I was upset and I let myself feel upset! Then I reached out to other T1D friends who could understand exactly what I was going through. They supported me and reassured me I made the right decision for myself! After I let my emotions settle, I approached my mom and asked her why it was so important she knew I changed my management. She told me it was so important because she still wanted to feel connected to me and my diabetes!
Now I always make it a point to tell my mom the good and the bad of my diabetes before I come home. Sometimes I tell things that are small because I don’t want to share too much! Other times, I share bigger things. It’s all depending on my mood!
Another thing that’s important to remember is being home is only temporary. On days I’m really frustrated or annoyed, I write down what I miss! For example, one time I wrote in my phone notes while home that I missed being able to not wear a Dexcom sensor for a whole day and my mom did not ask why I was using a meter instead! Then when I got back I used it as a way to feel grateful!
If you are a parent of a teen, or young adult-gift them the gift of mental health. I work with parents, but also teens and young adults to help them navigate the tricky waters of the transition towards independence….ALL sessions if booked by 12/31 are just $40!
