You weren’t expecting this.

“I hope my kid has a good time at the birthday party-dropping her off makes me feel nervous, but so does the fact that I hope I just happen to have a stash of fruit snacks buried in my purse that said child didn’t ransack.”  

That right there is diabetes in parenthood. It changes how we parent.

Let’s talk about it. I have wanted to write about this for awhile, but never really had all the right words. I’m currently on a train to go give 2 talks at a Breakthrough T1D community summit. -I love seeing clients in person and meeting new families and networking with old and new colleagues. AND, I have more feelings than I’d like to admit. I’m beyond decision fatigued, I’m decision paralyzed. It lately seems like making a child's lunch or reviewing spelling words or letting the dog out to pee to reduce his barking are more immediate needs than changing a pump site or doing a quick finger prick….It is so damn hard to have diabetes and be a parent. I know I’m not alone here-but with diabetes it just hits different. 

Kids man-how on earth can I incorporate diabetes into the hardest job in the world. I am still learning. I am in maintenance mode now. Married with kids and truly living the dream-I am able to volunteer at my children’s school, create my own flexible work schedule….but I still can’t strike that balance most days.  Pulled in a million directions mentally all the time.

Something which has helped this drastic change is first and foremost saying this statement out loud and I used it multiple times this past week with clients…

“I wasn’t expecting this.” or to my child, or yours you can say. “You weren’t expecting that, were you.” It adds a bit of validation and it helps.

So to the mom in tears in the shower just weeks after your child’s or your own diagnosis. I hear you. You weren’t expecting this. You weren’t expecting to feel this way. 

To the kiddo who had to be pulled off the soccer field mid game because of a trending arrow-I hear you. You weren’t expecting this low. You weren’t expecting to feel this way. 

To the Mom with T1D-you weren’t expecting this. To be pulled away from prioritizing T1D more than you’d like to admit, yet also feel so proud of being a parent. 

You certainly weren’t expecting for your parenthood to now be dominated by diabetes decisions. It is so hard. I recognize it-all  especially the “visible in your life yet invisible to everyone else” mental load. I know I hide my diabetes more than I want to as a parent. 

So the next time you’re beyond overwhelmed in your parenthood journey you might try saying….”welp I wasn’t expecting this to happen today.” See how that hits. 

And I’m always here for it. Don’t be shy-honesty starts with being honest to yourself. Do it for you so you might feel slightly less unbalanced.